WHY is Emery putting us all through this?
Who knows. Just enjoy the ride by checking out Emery’s daily and weekly blog below, where you may get glimpses into the wonderland that is Emery’s head.
Support Emery by buying knickknacks and other otiose items on Emery’s Zazzle store via Woo Commerce. ‘Cuz no one can resist a leg o’ lamb. (COMING SOON!)
Weekly Rumination15
THE FIRST 100 DAYS This week, I'm ruminating about milestones. The first hundred days have come and gone for you-know-who; that infamous, inexperienced, corpulent, lay-about who watches an awful lot of tv, and twitters on a daily basis. Some may say this person...
Daily Tidbit100
Chain stores are closing at a record pace in my small town. It's getting harder and harder to find clothes for the kiddle, unless she wants to dress like a rodeo queen. ~ Emery Lamb
Daily Tidbit99
"Linda, what is curling?" "Housework. It's housework on ice, is what it is. They throw a paperweight across an ice rink, and then these ladies furiously dust in front of it, to clear the path because they'd like a tidy ice rink. Anyone could drop round and see your...
Daily Tidbit98
I was once asked to sum up the experience of growing up in Salt Lake City and I replied, "I once jabbed a prophet in the neck with my violin bow." So, there ya' go.
Daily Tidbit97
"I couldn't wait for success, so I went on ahead without it." ~ Jonathan Winters
Daily Tidbit96
The kiddle was sick and puked on Regina the cat, who stood still and took it like the royal she is. I'm not sure what to think about that. Grateful, but wary of this regal, yet soiled feline. However, the kiddle's anxiety is skyrocketing in anticipation of the queen's...
Daily Tidbit95
"A despot doesn't fear eloquent writers preaching freedom - he fears a drunken poet who may crack a joke that will take hold." ~ E.B. White, One Man's Meat
Weekly Rumination14
MARKETING DOPE TO UPTIGHT PEOPLE This week, I'm ruminating about semantics. Sometimes, I think my life would've gone better if I'd actually done some drugs. I blame the cartels. Their negligence in not marketing dope to Mormons, evangelicals, and other uptight people...
Daily Tidbit94
Starbucks and 7-11 have joined forces to tap the Mormon market by concocting a hot drink made with five brands of soda and Postum served in a Big Gulp. ~ Emery Lamb
Daily Tidbit93
"Women get their heart broke, they cry...Men hold...in like it don't hurt. Walk around and get it by trucks. 'Didn't he see that truck?' ... 'He wouldn't have seen a 747,' 'cause his heart was broken." ~ Richard Pryor, Live on the Sunset Strip