WHY is Emery putting us all through this?
Who knows. Just enjoy the ride by checking out Emery’s daily and weekly blog below, where you may get glimpses into the wonderland that is Emery’s head.
Support Emery by buying knickknacks and other otiose items on Emery’s Zazzle store via Woo Commerce. ‘Cuz no one can resist a leg o’ lamb. (COMING SOON!)
Daily Tidbit31
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to present to you...the Internet!" ~ The IT Crowd, Series 3 Episode 4 (My first meme. Awwww).
Daily Tidbit30
My dad taught me to be polite to machines, because one day they will take over the world. That's why I avoid toll roads. Writing a thank you note for each stop was getting to be a bit much. ~ Emery Lamb
Daily Tidbit29
"Sometimes, you're on the phone and people will go, 'Have you got a pen?' to take down a number. And you immediately say, 'Yes!' even though you don't have a pen. We all like to play a little game called, Say You Have a Pen, and Then Try to Find the Pen Before They...
Daily Tidbit28
Drug cartels are terrible when it comes to product marketing. They should infiltrate the evangelical market by rebranding meth as Sacrifice, cocaine as Purity, heroin as Honor, and ecstasy as Rapture. ~ Emery Lamb
Daily Tidbit27
"Women like courtesy on a date. I got in trouble once on a date. I didn't open the car door for her. Instead, I just swam for the surface." ~ Emo Philips, Edinburgh Comedy Fest 2010
Daily Tidbit26
Sometimes, I'm too polite for my own good. Whenever I call a realtor to inquire about a house for sale, I feel obliged to stick with the conversation, feigning interest for an extra ten minutes or so because it would be too rude to hang up after hearing the asking...
Daily Tidbit25
"And then there's dressage, based on God knows what. It's a fantastic thing, don't get me wrong... These people, highly trained, highly trained riders, highly trained horses, trained to do stuff that is not wanted in life. It's brilliant, but it's just useless! You...
Weekly Rumination4
OVINE RUMINANTS This week, I'm ruminating about ruminants; specifically, the ovine kind. It all started when I was a toddler and practically tumbled out of a shopping cart lunging at a stuffed lamb on a shelf. Lambie and I had many adventures over the years and I...
Daily Tidbit24
I'm so self-centered, I think every spider I see wants to meet be by dropping on my head or scurrying up my leg. ~ Emery Lamb
Daily Tidbit23
"Nobody wants to be an organ donor. Nobody. It just seems like the right thing to say...Organ donors are for people with no faith at all. Y'know, what if they figure out a way to bring you back from the dead. And now I don't got no eyes." ~ Chris Rock, Bring the...