Whenever I hear someone say that they're going to "push the envelope," all I can think of is how easy it is to do that. I mean, sometimes all I have to do is breathe on it. Look Ma, no hands! Pffft. I prefer to say, "bursting the bustier" because that takes real...

"ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith."  ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I'm as edgy as a fuzzy circle.   ~ Emery Lamb

"If Galileo had said in verse that the world moved, the inquisition might have let him alone."   ~ Thomas Hardy

I was in the drive-thru line at McDonald's and the SUV in front of me had a bumper sticker that said, "Eat Local/Eat Healthy." Who says Americans don't get irony?   ~ Emery Lamb

"I'm really glad my food comes murdered for me."  ~ Patrice O'Neal, Comedy Central Presents Season 7 Episode 10

Now that I'm in my fifties, it's getting harder and harder to...   ~ Emery Lamb

"Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility."   ~ James Thurber

Several years ago I learned sign language and got pretty good at it. Check out my expertise on the video. Of course, the only ASL I remember is, "I forget."  ~ Emery Lamb